#audit and auditors

[pratchettquotes]

Hour after hour, it went on, with a patience that at first terrified and then bored. It was the warfare of clerks, and it harried the enemy through many columns and files. Moist could read words that weren't there, but the clerks found the numbers that weren't there, or were there twice, or were there but going the wrong way. They didn't hurry. Peel away the lies, and the truth would emerge, naked and ashamed and with nowhere else to hide.

Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

[shhhsoftnwet]

Who are you harassing this time, team leader Shin?

[fridayvelvet]

감사합니다: The Auditors

[saltymongoose]

Streamer player who got into the game with their phone and aren't exactly behaving the way the employers expected them to at first💥

Auditor goes on his little monologue about you being important to this entire reality and how you being locked up in here is non-negotiable and how you can't just leave! They finally got you here and they're so excited-

Player is giving no visual reactions but he keeps on talking (he. Is acting a bit out of pocket now that the player is finally here! You can't blame him!!!)

Then suddently they just kinda.

Player is now visibly irritated and typing up a longgg post abt them having to stop streaming for now and how they love their fans and won't stop interacting!!! It will just take longer to post significant content! And apologising profusely to their followers.

As they're doing this they start a very upset rant about the situation they're in

Like they go all the way off💥💥 going from how badly planned their kidnapping was and how if they really wanted the player to stay in this bland little concrete room the employers should have at the very least let them grab a charger. Did they even know if humans could breathe in this atmosphere?? They could have died! Did they even take their medication with them? No? Of course not. God, can it even get any worse? Oh! And just so you know, being locked in a small boring enviroment is very detrimental to any human's mental state! Do they even know if food in nevada can fit their dietary requirements?? If the auditor didn't go on that rant about the importance of the player, they'd assume they were captured to get tortured! If this is the level of planning the employers were capable of, then they could see why they couldn't catch Hank yet.

40 minutes after being left in the room by themselves the player gets out and they apologize for getting so mad.🫡

(What the rest of the employers see after the auditor leaves the player's room)

Omg, it's something the Employers never expected to see. The consequences of their own actions. 🤯

Yes, we love to see the Player sticking it to the Auditor (and the rest of the Employers), and they do have a point. Besides the observations they made over your webcam, they had no other source of information on humans, and it's not like watching someone play video games and go about their business in their room can tell you about all their needs. Your biology is completely unfamiliar to them, and who knows if you need any specialized medical care to deal with any disorders or ailments you have? Like if you were diabetic, how the hell would you get insulin? Do they even have insulin in Nevada? What about food? Or enrichment? Humans are social creatures, and it's not like talking only to the four of them would be sufficient for that. And that's just a few things in addition to the arguments you gave in your ask as well.

I like to think that the Player is just so done with the situation that they're the one who orders the Auditor to leave the room while they type out a message to their followers. I mean, they just woke up in a whole other dimension/world after being kidnapped. It's not like they'd be all that comfortable with just chilling in the room with the Auditor after giving him the verbal lashing they did lmao. 

Meanwhile, the Employer is just beside himself, because he can't exactly weasel his way out of responsibility here or argue against what the Player said - because they're right. The Auditor took a major gamble by really just assuming they would be able to survive there off of some similar details in their surroundings, and if he were any less impulsive, he'd have done some further tests to see if such a thing was really feasible.

What makes it worse for him is that I'm also willing to bet that Stygian or one of the other Employers suggested doing just that, but he didn't listen to them because he never listens to them lmao. (Also I love that picture of the Auditor, it's one of my favorite things in the world now, no joke.) 

And it's not like they're going to comfort or support him once he steps out of the room either. In fact, they'll probably chastise him (Stygian totally would at least), and then insist that you were entirely right and they don't think you should apologize at all. 

Maybe they're doing it for extra brownie points, as the Auditor's clear fuckup in your eyes provides a very good opportunity to make themselves look good (even if it's extremely hypocritical lol). But then you reference their own work to help the Auditor's plan and throw it back in their faces because you just know he could never do this whole operation alone. (And you're still important to other people besides them regardless, like your beloved fans who're gonna have to deal with the fallout of their selfishness.)

However, fortunately for the other three, your scolding is far less harsh than it had been on the Auditor. That doesn't mean you won't still make a point of it when necessary though.

[masllp]

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[azuremliam]

Back at it again with Liam's Temporary God Auditor form! Their wings are practically useless still but its a nice intimidation effect heh.

They get a crystal of their own when they have to fill in for Scarab when he's interning as a wishmaster. And though they can very well use the crystal beam, they prefer a more brute force approach- some Primordial habits can't be shaken off (even when they were human) when you get handed something perfect to bonk someone.

Edit- Bonus Scarab for size comparison

[4th-make-quail]

remember that interview i had that i really wanted to get the job for? WELL i'm going in for a THIRD INTERVIEW tomorrow with the fucking MD ahahaha!!! they have 2 roles now, the new one for quality systems engineer which needs lead auditor which i don't have (i have internal auditor), and my agency are repping another candidate for it, so they're trying to push it as being the pair of us working together well cos i have the textiles background and he doesn't

SO LET'S SEE HOW IT GOES I GUESS!!!! annoyingly it's at 1pm which means i'll be travelling during lunchtime which i hate but at least this time i won't have to do a 2hr factory tour sdgkhlf'g

[mccleans]

songs from ttpd about mattdrai: florida!!!, my boy only breaks his favourite toys, down bad, so high school, imgonnagetyouback, the prophecy, how did it end, the black dog, the alchemy, guilty as sin, fresh out the slammer, fortnight

[head-empty404]

vrchat doodles :]

[deus-ex-mona]

save me mona-chan

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

I’m sort of still in the “ahhH did I make the right choice in switching units at work??” phase But this role allows me to be wayyyy more of a nosy bitch and I do enjoy that

[ctl-yuejie]

*sigh* my boss is such a darling

she says 30 minutes before getting grilled on means of appeal and no clue what type of questions he will ask

[solentmarineconsultant]

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[rottengurlz]

I found out the auditor for my work is coming today or tomorrow I begged the universe to have them come on my day off for once but here I am 😞

[goodwillindia]

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[emptyheadgamer]

God I hate the current "first amendment auditors". Took what was a good idea in the beginning and turned it into this facade where they abuse the letter of the law to abuse and harass people just trying to do their job (because it's now gone from filming the police to antagonizing any customer facing public employee like security guards and front desk staff) for views on tiktok and YouTube.